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The Man About Town.

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The Man About Town. To be or not to be-That is the Question. At least 2,000,000 cerebral organisations have been engaged in this knotty question and have turned their intellectual strength I towards Cardiff and the great International Match. The doubt has eclipsed the gaiety of nations. And even now as I write it is not clear this only is certain, that if it be not absolutely proved that those who take part in che match will dislocate every limb, break their crowns and dislodge their noses, the encounter will undoubtedly come off. How the poor ground, seized suddenly with a bad attack of lumbago, has been nursed, and coddled, and watched, and soothed, and medicated It has been ban- daged with straw, poulticed with fire, tor- mented with devils kind friends have sat at its bedside, feeling its pulse at every other moment, and whispering words of hope to one another. Even at night nurses have never left it, and every change in tem- perament, for better or for worse, has been observed with excitement, and announced with sorrow or delight. After all this doc- toring, the poor ground is but a crippled con- valescent, patched up foranhourortwo,able to make one supreme effort and then, perhaps, fall back in violent relapse And what then ? Why, the kind friends and tireless nurses, having got what they wanted, will abandon it to its fate like impious children who have nursed their dying father till he sign his will and then left him to his fate There is little fear that the game will take place. Bad indeed must be the condition of weather or the ground to daunt the modern football player. One of the tribe informed me this week-he was, I believe, a Cardiff man—that he had played in Calcutta in mid- June Whom the gods wish to destroy, they first dement runs the old adage and I warn my friend to look to it lest he sud- denly disappear No man was ever more unlucky than I. Last week, when there were no matches, I felt that the gift of tongues had descended on me, and I prophesied who would win. This week, when it seemed certain that Wales could not possibly meet England, I had the prophetic gift once more, and saw quite clearly that Wales would beat her great neighbour. The case was perfectly plain and rested on seven arguments of such force and cogency that there is not an Eng- lishman living who would not have read and been convinced. And what is the result ? Why, that each of these seven arguments has felt the fall of temperature, and has thawed. I left them all in a warm place, I suppose perhaps 500 devils got hold of them also, and made them disappear. At any rate, when I went to seek them this morn- ing I found they had melted all. away, and I have not a word to say. What a fine piece of reasoning, what admirable dialectic, what close argument, what a noble rhetorical display have not my readers lost, all because of this wretched thaw ? Now, after long study of the Prophets, I have discovered that the method usually adopted is a very sound one nay, it reaches infallibility. That method is, to use a term of which I have no personal ex- perience, to hedge." I will impart my knowledge to all who desire to attain fame as Prophets in the future. THE WHOLE ART OF PROPHECY. a. When A. is bound to beat B., say so. with the proviso that you add that B. is really very strong, so strong that many back it, and that only by certain minute advantages, known only to yourself, do you cieariy see her defeat. When the game is won by A., chuckle in capital letters. b. When A. is about equal to B., shake your head and point out that there are four reasons why A. should beat B.,and four reasons why B. should beat A. So that the chances are equal. When the game is won, quote the four reasons why the winner should have won and say nothing of the reason why he should have lost. Thus wilt thou have great repute amongst men and seem to have foretold what thou didst not. c. When it is impossible to know which is the stronger—as in the case of international matches -you must be most discreet. Thus, you must prove beyond doubt that England and Scotland are infinitely stronger than Wales, for instance, and that if Wales beat England, it will be a magnificent triumph; that it may be done, there is no saying but that if Wales be beaten, it is no disgrace, and only what should be. Thus, if Wales do win, you may rejoice, and say tha.t you had argued it would be great glory for her to win; but if she lose, why, then yon can equally point out that it was not in reason that she should win. Then hint at "moral victory." In accordance with these rules, which con- tain the whole art and practice of Football Prophecy, it is easy to be seen that my duty is clear. Let me at once, then, say that England is much stronger than Wales, has more clubs to draw from, and on form should prove victorious. But let me add that there is no knowing what the gallantry and pluck of Wales will do. If she lose, why, on fann she should lose if she win, why, it is due, not to form, but to resolution and heroism. There is only one truly great man in these days—the man who plays for his country or his town. What fame has Glad- stone or Salisbury in South Wales com- pared with the plucky half-back who slyly picks up the ball at a critical moment of the game and sneaks over the line ? Does the faint praise of public opinion ever equal the vociferous cheering from ten thousand throats, pouring forth voluminous eddies of blatant sound on the spot ? The football player gets his reward at once, like the famous actor. His deeds are crowned as soon as done he does not wait for the patient historian to pick up tenderly his disfigured body from the obloquies and mendacities of the past, and make it clean with the quiet industry of the critical washerwoman. It has often made me wonder how such men manage to keep from being prigs. Of course, all of them do not. Some of them walk with head erect and nose poised at an angle, as if they disdained their miserable fellows, blest perhaps with a brain as prolific, but having by no means sinews and muscles so wonderfully developed. The Prig in all professions is a contemptible creature and if he is more so in Football it is only be- cause his sphere is wider. The Literary and Artistic Prig can only air their vanity to their little circle of friends the Football Prig has a whole town for his platform. But let me hasten to say that the Football Prig is anly a small percentage of these great men. I have the good fortune, in a humble way, to come into the sphere of influence of the International, and I have always won- dered that he was so amiable and generous and sincere. It is impossible for him not to realise that he is a hero, and in his obvious attempts to conceal his greatness and walk with due humility, he just lets the secret peep round the corner. He walks with careful effort to be modest and familiar, and he will even be a little too chatty with all men, for it is impossible to observe by art the nice discrimination which is needed to walk without being too much on the one side or on the other side of the strict line. For all he can do, there seems to be an air of pre occupation around him his greatness hovers over him like a shadow. His remarks are steeped with recollections of tries and goals and punts into touch. To misquote a phrase of Emerson's, Cut his words and goals flow out." Such men I admire, and hereby with all formality drink their health and good fortune

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SOUTH WALES TIUE TABLE.

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ASSAULT ON BOARD SHIP.

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* THE INTERNATIONAL MATCH.

THE WELSH TEAM.I

THE ENGLISH TEAM.